My friend sent me a link yesterday to this beautiful belly picture. Go ahead...go check it out.
My heart needed it. My soul craved hearing it and letting those words wash over me brought healing.
My marks are few, but nonetheless they are marks. Some moments I struggle with them. Mostly I struggle with my overall post partum body which is different then my body was before. It's easier to love than it was before, but still I have my moments. My PMS was not helping at all which some of you saw from my post earlier this week.
I write the following in reflection of my thoughts on Cassie Fox's words and how they ring true to me....
To my dear sweet Abbie:
You've blessed my heart so much. Your sweet face....is so precious and beautiful. Flawless for you have no idea yet how much the world can cause you to criticize you for being just that...you. I pray that you never struggle with what I have struggled with. I pray that you will always see yourself exactly for what you truly are....beautiful. Time and time again I am floored at how God designed our bodies to create something so incredibly precious and wonderful. I look at you and see innocence, perfection. I just love that. It challenges my faith so much to really see what God has given us through the eyes of a child. To know that you are experiencing everything for the first time and have to be taught. You have no idea that fire burns, is hot and hurts yet. You have no idea that a butterfly comes from a caterpillar yet until we teach you. You don't get God yet, but I see so much more of Him now because of you.
The picture of this belly, covered in marks, makes me realize how much more I love you just because of that. I didn't really get it until you arrived. I knew you were there. Growing and thriving but I think being pregnant with a first baby is so surreal. It's hard to imagine all that would be until you actually see what comes out of it and in this instance your daddy and I are so blessed to call you our first born. For the entire pregnancy I thought you were a boy. I really did. We both did and about 75% of everyone else did as well....I was absolutely ecstatic to find out you were a girl. Never in my life could I have even fathomed the joy I would find in having a daughter. From the very first moment I laid eyes on you in the delivery room and I found out I had a daughter, I was speechless. So excited, and beyond that...you looked exactly like me! God knows what he is doing, and there has never been a moment, nor will there ever be, that you were a mistake. God loves you sweet girl. He's had a purpose for you from the moment he breathed life into you when you were growing inside me. He saw you first kicks even before I felt them. He gave you your beautiful fingers and toes. Perfection at its finest.
It is with great honor that I too cherish these marks I carry. They are forever "My Abbie's" marks. Your daddy still calls my tummy Abbie's old home. What a blessing it was to carry you for 9 months. To feel your tiny kicks which eventually turned to feisty fast kicks to my ribs....I enjoyed every moment. Your hesitation during arrival was frustrating in the moment, but there wasn't a part of it that wasn't well worth the wait.
Thank you God for making our bodies fit to carry these precious gifts. Thank you for these marks for its no accident that they exist. May they ever be a joyous reminder to me of the life that you brought forth through me. To entrust to me until the day I die this precious life, we named Abigail.
Love you forever baby girl!
Mommy
