Full Heart.....Full Home: Alexander: 1st Birthday Letter

April 15, 2015

Alexander,

Wow! I cannot believe it's been a year already since the day we welcomed you into our arms! Your first year has been one of many ups and downs for me. You have challenged me more than I even knew was possible, and yet here I am standing on the other side having grown more, and becoming a better person for it. When God called me to be a mom to both you and your sister, I had no idea how He would use motherhood to refine me more. To chisel away at hard parts of me that needed to be chipped away. To stretch me to points of almost breaking, and yet I am so forever grateful at the hardness that is being a parent. At least for me, I know that God knew one of the best ways to refine me more, grow me more in Him....was through my children. Thank you for that.

A babies first year is always full of so many new things and milestones. This past year I watched you smile for the first time, sit up, crawl, stand, walk around things, clap your hands, learn some sign language, and start to understand some words and say a few yourself. My sweet boy your strong will was used in so many ways to mold my own, and that is one thing I mustn't forget....though you may have a strong will, I do as well, and it was in the realization of that, that I eventually realized I must set aside my selfishness in the raising of my strong willed boy, in order to be a better mama. My entire pregnancy and your first year, have been laced with defining moments that God used to break me of my pride, and discontent, and fully praise Him even in the midst of the storm. Thank you sweet boy for being a part of God's plan in doing that in me.

Your sweet personality has started to come out in so many ways- the ornery grin you give us when you are about to do something you shouldn't, the way you shake your head when we say "No, no no!" and also nod "yes" even though I'm sure you aren't actually agreeing with us :) Even your will to go back and do things you have been told not to again and again and again are actually kind of funny to me now. Yet I still press on, because I actually am starting to see some understanding to those things after saying no and distracting you from them for weeks now...my persistence in continuing to teach you is paying off! You get into everything including (but not limited too) toilets, toilet paper, garbage, eating out of the garbage if you manage to reach something, licking soap, playing with fireplace knows, unplugging things and trying to stick your finger in an outlet, trying to eat fireplace rocks....the list goes on, and I'm sure won't stop there, but it quickly became apparent that boys are much different than girls, and that is ok. It's just different to me, but different isn't always bad, and in this case....different is definitely a good thing! You keep me on my toes, and I have a special soft spot for you because you are much more a mama's boy than Abbie ever was mama's girl, and though sometimes that can drive me crazy....more often than not you choose me to be the one who can calm your tears, not anyone else, and that my sweet boy is an honor.

No matter what life brings your way, and where God takes you, I promise with all my heart to do the best I can to raise you in the way God leads me to, and no matter what I am so proud to be called a "boy mom" because of you!