At This Time Last Year....

After reading one of my blogger friends blogs today over at http://www.throughcloudedglass.com/
I was reminded that today also had significance in my own life...

At this time last year my hubby and I were on our way home from our church networks annual summer conference talking about what God had done in us at the conference and was still doing in us even as we left there. We stopped on our way home to visit some friends of ours who had had their baby while we were out of town. Seeing her precious face reminded me so much of how my heart ached to be a mother. I wanted so badly to hold one of my own children in my arms, and yet life still didn't look like what I wanted it to look like before we started a family. We weren't in a position for me to quit my job and stay at home yet. Were we ready to give up sleeping in and the inability to drop everything to go wherever we wanted to whenever we wanted to? What about finances...kids cost money. Were we ready to give that up too? As we left our friends house after seeing their precious new addition to their family we talked more. The drive home was about an hour and we talked about starting our own family and when that timing would be right. The more we talked the more we realized our waiting was out of fear of all the unknowns, not waiting in faith, but a selfishness. When we got home we prayed. On our knees prayed on the floor of our bedroom and asked God for His will. We begged and pleaded and cried on our knees of the floor of our bedroom and it was there in that moment that we felt God's peace about it. To just let it go. To trust His timing and that He is perfect and most importantly He told us he would provide. He told us to give up control and trust Him with the timing of our family. We ended the prayer that night with so much faith yet such apprehension. In that moment I realized, that after almost 4 years of marriage I had always "controlled" sex in some way shape or form. There was always a large amount of security and faith put into some form of birth control. I realized this would no longer be. So scary....but after 4 years of controlling it, it was so freeing. Like I had always held God out at arms length saying I trust you, but not yet with our family. Less than 1 month later on July 18th we found out we were expecting our firstborn....




"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."
Psalm 139:13

How grateful I am my dear sweet Baby Girl that God called us to this moment. There wasn't a moment ever that you were a mistake! Thank you for letting me be your mommy. I am so blessed to call you my own!