Alexander Benjamin: An Unexpected Delivery!

He's here!  And that's right....our baby is a boy!

(before I go any further I should probably warn you.....I didn't hold back on many details of Alex's Birth Story.  So if you are a bit squeamish, well then don't say I didn't warn you later!)

Oh geez....Alex's Birth Story.  Where do I even begin?  There's something so intriguing about reading a birth story.  I never really cared about them until I was expecting my own child, but once I was, I loved reading them.  And when they are your own, each moment is so vivid, even the bad ones create memories impressioned on your heart and mind for forever.  It always amazed me that my own mom could recite each of her 5 children's birth dates, birth weights, lengths, and each personal story without hardly having to try to remember details.  Now I get it.  My own children's stories have impressioned my heart for forever.  

Alexander's birth story is definitely one I don't want to forget any details of.  There was absolutely nothing "normal" about it and if his entrance into the world is any sort of precursor of what surpises he will share with us in his life than I can assure you we are in for a wild ride!

Most of you know from my previous post that I was pretty done being pregnant after having insane nausea and heartburn for 9 months.  So when week 37 of my pregnancy arrived, and I knew our baby was finally full term, I was plotting all the ways I could get him or her out and into my arms so I could be done being pregnant!  My hopes were somewhat high but my dose of reality was that Abigail arrived almost a week overdue.  I didn't want to be too hopeful in that our second child would be more punctual.

On April 11th I started my first set of false labor contractions.  Timeable.  Getting hope filled.  Only for them to stop after 10 hours.  The next day yielded similar results.  Contractions for several hours.  Most timeable, only to stop.  I then do what all good mothers do....googled everything under the sun about false labor vs real labor, natural ways to induce labor, etc.  Of course this made me even more anxious.  I tried to fit in small prayers as I could to keep my focus on what was important, that this baby would come exactly in God's timing, but it was half hearted.  Every part of my being wanted to wish into existence that this pregnancy would be over...NOW!   Monday April 14th marked week 39 for me.  I had my appointment with my midwife that morning.  Hardly anything had changed.  I was a solid 2cm dilated, but everything else was the same.  Still for this being my second baby, things really could change at any second.  I just kept remembering Abbie's tardiness and 29 hours of labor and really hoped that wasn't the case for this baby.

The early morning hours of April 15th I remember tossing a bit in my sleep.  I had quite a bit of cramping that night and in efforts to potentially move things along had tried using a natural supplement that can help your body better prepare for labor called Evening Primrose Oil.  I awoke around 3:30 out of bed from the cramping with some timeable contractions for several hours.  I decided to do my morning workout around 7:30 and they stopped completely.  Abbie and I went to the bible study we attend on Tuesday mornings around 9:30 and my contractions started again while there.  Some braxton hicks, nothing intense.  Afterwards my friends watched Abbie while I did a few laps around the church to see if they continued.  Of course they stopped.  Abbie and I went home then and took a nap.  Our afternoon and early evening were pretty normal- playing, dinner, getting Abbie ready for bed, and the house was a bit chaotic so I decided to clean pretty much my entire weeks worth of cleaning in case baby did come.  We had been planning for Dave's parents to watch Abbie while we were at the hospital and I didn't want to leave our house in complete shambles for them.  Shortly after Abbie went to bed around 7:45 or 8PM I did have what the female world calls 'show."  I'll spare you details, but I practically ran singing out of the bathroom to tell Dave.  When I was due with Abbie, I had show and within 24 hours was in labor.  At that point I knew baby was coming, but also knew it may be a day or two.

We got Abbie off to bed and settled and I decided since I had had show, but no contractions I would sit on my birthing ball for awhile and see if I could get something started.  Within about 5 minutes my contractions started.  These were more than braxton hicks.  Definitely real, about 30-40 seconds in length and ranging anywhere from 4-7 minutes long.  Nothing abnormal to me.  They weren't hard.  With Abbie I had those type of contractions for 24 hours so I wasn't concerned.  I decided to take the dog on a short walk at about 8:30.  I decided at that point if my contractions did continue then I would call Dave's parents and tell them that I thought the baby was coming tonight but probably wouldn't actually give birth until the next day.  We had planned all along for Dave's parents to come, but also had a back up who lived 10 minutes away to watch Abbie if needed before they could arrive.  After my walk my contractions were about the same and I then knew this was definitely it.  I called his parents and they left by 9:30.  I knew they would arrive around 11:30 or 12.  I texted my friend Brit who was our nearby stand in to tell her to keep her phone close, but that we probably wouldn't need her since Dave's parents were on their way, but just in case we needed her in a hurry to be ready.  

From about 9:30-10PM I was finishing up some work things for my job at Hearts at Home.  Called my boss and gave her the last minute info she would need to take over any of my responsibilities in my absence.  I remember getting off the phone with her around 10PM and still laughing and talking.  Contractions were about the same.  Around 10:30 contractions started getting a little harder, couldn't talk through them very well, but still they were the same length apart and only about 30-40 seconds long.  Around 10:45 I called my friend Christy who was somewhat of a contact person for me during labor.  She also likes to have natural deliveries, and it's nice when you are in labor to have a person to call to encourage you to keep going, or ask questions to if needed.  I was having some symptoms that I wanted to ask her about.  During this period I was swaying back and forth holding my belly during contractions, and finally got to the point of dropping on all fours to take the weight off my back and pressure off my cervix.  After talking with her I knew we needed to go to the hospital now.  Dave called Brittany around 11PM and told her we needed her to come now.  I started feeling more pressure and knew if I didn't stay on all fours this baby was gonna come soon and we weren't going to make it to the hospital.  I continued to crawl around on all fours, breathing through contractions as necessary and throwing a few last items into my suitcase.  Dave was frantically packing the car.  At somewhere around 11:10 my water broke.  I cried out for Dave and knew immediately we weren't going to make it to the hospital.  I yelled to him that my water broke and he said "We can still make it..we have an hour!" (What?  Seriously...where did he come up with that?  I was like "No...we don't.  This baby is coming.  I need you to call an ambulance. "  Surprisingly I was pretty calm in my instructions to him.  Not yelling.  Just insistent.  He tried calling my midwife first which you have to go through an answering service to get to them.  The man from the answering service obviously didn't get the frantic urgency Dave was trying to impress on him so Dave hung up on them and then called 911.  Brittany arrived at 11:15.  She told me later she didn't think I was as far along as I said I was, but nevertheless did a great job of faking that she believed me.

After my water broke I crawled into the hallway onto the wood floor so I wouldn't make a mess on the carpet (Hey, what can I say....I'm a really nice laboring mama.  Even if no one else in my house believed me at that moment I knew I was giving birth at home so I might as well not have to clean up after it later!)  Brittany came and rubbed my back and reminded me to breath.  I sat on all fours as still as I could.  Afraid to move because I knew if I did anything else, the moment anything was stimulated this baby was coming and it was gonna be time to push.  I was trying to hold off until the paramedics got there.  After that I felt things coming.  I immediately fell to the ground on my side/back and let out the loud moanish, pushing groan/yelling grunt many of us I'm sure know very well.  (I really don't know how else to describe it....the outside world may think it's a scream but to the laboring women it's really not....its your bodies valiant effort to push with everything you have to bring life into this world).  Unfortunately at that moment I realize I am giving birth in front of my daughter's bedroom door, because her door opens and she runs out screaming.  Brittany later told me her first interaction with Abbie went something like this "Hi Abbie (fake excited smile on Brittany's face) mommy is having the baby!  Mommy is ok, don't worry!"  (Even though to the 3 year old it probably looked like her mother was dying on the floor!)  Dave stepped over me and whisked Abbie away.  At that point I ripped my pants off and started pushing.  It was at this point (Brittany later told me) that she finally started to believe me when she saw the head crowning.  I had nothing to brace my feet on to push so finally reached down to help pull the baby out and with one or two more pushes, pushed him out as Brittany grabbed him.  Dave was still on the phone with the dispatcher at the time and quickly his plea went from please send an ambulance to, the baby was just born!  The dispatcher named the time of birth as 11:23PM.  Brittany laid him on top of me after he was born, swept his mouth out as best as she could and made sure he started crying.  She told me it was a boy, and all my fears of being a boy mom just felt neutral in that moment.  There was no feeling of disappointment.  Just relief.  Acceptance that God had always known that this baby was a boy and that he gave Him to me for good reason.

I laughed later that at this point I asked Dave for towels to cover up.  After all I basically was baring all to my friend on the floor in our hallway.  The funny part comes in the fact that Dave handed me a white towel.  Anyone who knows my type A tendencies will not be surprised at my response to this.  I looked at him and said "Not the white ones!"  His prompt reply was "Bridget, we will buy new!"  Haha!  I think it's hilarious that I even cared about such a thing during this whole situation!

The paramedics arrived about 5 minutes after he was born and brought with them what looked to be a small army.  They tried to fit 5 or 6 men in our hallway where Brit and I were already taking up some of the not very large amount of space.  I wasn't the most coherent at this point.  I remember being in pain because I hadn't delivered the placenta yet and was still getting somewhat strong contractions.  Alex sitting on top of me was making me more painful, but we couldn't move him until they cut his umbilical cord.  Both Brit and I realized relatively quickly that many of these paramedics were relatively green when it came to their knowledge of Birth and Newborn Care 101.  She heard one say as he was getting ready to cut the cord, "6 inches right?" to one of the other paramedics.  Then slowly counted off what must of been his approximate 6 inch mark.  Brit was just like "seriously guys, come on!"

I believe I was in an out of a conscience shocky state at that point.  I remember bits and pieces.  I don't think I ever really passed out, but the state of shock I was in left me remember only parts of everything after Alex was born.  Brit told me later that one of the paramedics accidentally kicked me in the head as they were maneuvering around me in the hallway.  Evidently I grabbed my face and moaned "ow!"  I found this to be hilarious as Dave, Brit, and I all shared bits and pieces of the story later on so we could fully make sense of each of our perspectives at the scene.

I remember that I kept looking at Brittany and crying for different reasons, the first was tears of " I can't believe I just did that to my friend."  The second was tears of "I'm so thankful she is here to help me make sure he is ok until the paramedics arrive."  The third was my being in disbelief that everything that just happened, actually happened!  I kept apologizing to her and saying "I'm so sorry Brit!"

I'm pretty sure that our entire condo and surrounding condos knew what was happening.  My neighbors of course heard my loud "screams/groans."

I don't remember much from the ride to the hospital either.  I was still contracting from not having delivered the placenta and finally I decided enough is enough and took care of that problem myself on the ambulance.  The paramedics wouldn't touch me to help me deliver it and I was sick of still contracting.  I immediately felt better after it was out!  The one main thing I remember about the drive there was after I delivered the placenta, one of the paramedics then was shuffling through cupboards on the ambulance to find something to put the placenta in and came up with something that was about 2 x the size of a dixie cup......yeah, right sir, that is not gonna help!

They checked us over at the hospital and after some fluids and IV ibuprofen I felt much better.  Alex was healthy as a horse and weighed in at 8# 12oz and 21 1/2 inches long.  I didn't have any tearing and finally was starting to come out of my shocky state and feel a bit more coherent.

We are so blessed to have all been ok.  Though Alex's birth story wasn't a planned one, it was perfect.  He's perfect.

Before our baby arrived I was afraid.  Afraid of being a boy mom.  I was confident it was a girl.  From the moment he arrived I knew it would be ok.  God has equipped me to be the perfect mom to Abigail and Alexander and though I know often times I will feel insufficient, I know He will provide more than enough for me to be the best mom I can be for each of them.

Now, just a week or so later, I'm loving being his mommy.  He is the sweetest baby.  Such an amazing nurser, sleeper, and both Dave and I are pretty content with our family.  A boy and a girl!  We honestly never thought we'd have one of each, and I can't wait to see all that God has in store for our littles in the years to come! 

Blessings,