I spent sometime this past week thinking about my mom(s).
This picture of my mom and I was taken almost 10 years ago now....I was so young then, 22 years old, and completely unaware that the world indeed did not revolve around me.
My mom and I haven't always had the best relationship, but somehow we made it through my teenage years alive. I can remember a distinct turning point in our relationship- when I myself became a mom.
I started realizing that I said things my mom used to that I swore I never would as a parent.
I can remember distinctly a time when I was really struggling with working outside of the home and sending Abigail to daycare, and just crying to my mom, because I was so sad that I couldn't stay home with her. I had never really done that before, but I remember that being one of the first moments in my life of actually being authentic and raw with my mom. She listened, supported, and comforted me in the way that moms do.
Last year during a time when I was afraid to talk about us moving yet again in fear of what people would think, my mom's response floored me....considering moving 850 miles away, and yet she was one of my biggest cheerleaders during that time. It wasn't that she wanted us to move 850 miles away, but she could see God's hand in it, and she was supportive from the moment I even told her it maybe a possibility, and was one of the people that was quick to point out how it seemed like God was orchestrating something here for us in Pennsylvania.
My reflection this week led me to realize a few key things that my mom (parents) did during my childhood that distinctly shaped me into who I am today....
1) God and church were always #1- My dad was a farmer, but Sunday was ALWAYS a day of rest. Church activities always took precedence over any other outside activities.
2) My mom made my dad(marriage) a priority- Sure they argued...no marriage is perfect, but more than anything their lives did not revolve around us, and they didn't lose themselves in their identity as parents.
3) Our family unit was a priority- We did our best to eat meals around the table together. We were allowed to be in some extracurriculars, but it was much less than other families were. I can remember that frustrating me at the time, but now I see why. When we allow so much busy-ness and no time for margin in our lives, we lose sight of what is important. Being selective about the schedule of our family allowed for us to not lose sight of that.
I am so thankful that my mom made these a priority in our lives. I know some of them frustrated me at times, but as a parent now myself, I can see why they are necessary boundaries to have in place.
Thank you mom for not being perfect, but for being firm in your convictions of raising your family the best way you knew how. I am forever grateful for the foundation you and dad provided for me!
Now by God's design through marriage, I am also very blessed to have Dave's mom as my mom.
I have to be honest, prior to getting married, I had only ever really heard bad Mother in Law stories, so it came as a surprise that I actually liked my Mother in Law...a lot! She is awesome, and an amazing source of reason, and biblical wisdom. Some people may call me lucky for getting a "good one," but I have to be honest, from what I observe of relationships with in laws, it goes both ways....some mother in laws can be overbearing, but as daughter in laws we also enter into marriages with a preset thought in our head that this relationship with our mother in law will be bad. One thing I encourage you to remember in an "in law" relationship is advice for both sides of the party- To daughter in laws, remember that this woman raised the man you married, the man you fell in love with....she must have done something right even if she is a bit overbearing about it. To mother in laws- let go. The bible says we are to leave and cleave to our spouse, this means that you are no longer your sons #1, and you have to be ok with that.
But back to my mother in law, Wendy- I want to say thank you to you as well! Not only have you been my friend, but you raised my husband. I wasn't there during his childhood, but I know full well the amount of selfless love you raised your boys with, the foundation of faith you grew them in, and you and Brad as well raised them up knowing that God, and your marriage were a priority over life revolving around them. I know he didn't always make life easy for you, but I also know God doesn't make mistakes....He knew, when He chose you to be David's mom that you were perfect for the job, no matter how ill equipped you felt. Thank you for being a good steward of him when he was under your care.
One of my favorite memories of Wendy happened about a year ago, and I was on my way to her house from Chicago, and she were going to be watching the kids while I was at the Hearts at Home conference. Abbie had gotten sick in the car from a flu bug which I thought was over in our house, and we had just gone through several days of sickness, work preparation for the conference, and I was exhausted. I arrived at Wendy's house basically in a heap, and she greeted me with a warm welcoming hug as she always does, and I just collapsed into her arms crying, and said "Why didn't anyone ever tell me that being a mom was this hard? Why did my mom make this look so easy? How could my mom have 5 of us and I have 2 and most days feel like I am barely making it?" I choked. She hugged me tightly and said "It is hard. What you are doing is hard. Being a mom of little ones is so demanding" but beyond her affirming my feelings and acknowledging that my season was hard she pressed on and said this...."But you are doing a great job."
Those words were like salve to my soul....comforting, peace filling, and bought God's truth right back into my heart.
Thank you Wendy for being a good mom to us! I can see your love in the way you pour into your grandchildren and delight in them, and that as adults you still want to protect us, but you know enough to step back, let go, and trust God with where He leads us.
What a precious, precious gift to be able to say I have not one, but two moms, and that I get to be a mom to not one, but two precious babies! Thank you God for these gifts, may I never take for granted these moments.
Just the other day I was doing another load of laundry and sighed as I threw the clothes into the washer, and caught myself....there are mamas out there who would so desperately love to be washing little ones clothes today. There are mamas who have washed little ones clothes all their lives only to have lost that same child tragically, and there are sons and daughters out there weeping today in loss of their mama. I don't "have to" do this laundry, raise these little ones, lose hours of sleep, etc....I "get to." Thank you God for allowing me "get to" do this. May I never take that for granted.
And so my final thank you is to them....thank you for making me a mama!
No matter what shape your heart is in this Mother's Day, I pray for God's comfort and peace to fill you up, and overflow you with the love only He can provide!
Blessings,
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