Breastfeeding

There is something special about having a daughter. Of course I would say the same if we had a son, however right now we have a daughter and I love it! She melts my heart. I must admit my main goal with breastfeeding was for financial reasons. Never in a million years would I have guessed I would actually grow to love it. This morning while feeding my daughter I looked down at her and just melted into a puddle of sappy mom goo. Her contentedness while she nurses, knowing that I am the only one who can provide for her in this way just melts me. My favorite part...when her tiny little hand finds its way onto my breast and she just holds onto it. It's her source of comfort and security. She knows its mommy, and the best part...mommy is me! The whole scene actually reminds me of growing up on the farm....the way a baby places its hands on its mothers breast is the same way a litter of kittens puts their paws on their mothers abdomen and kneads them against their fur. I can remember watching the momma cats as a young girl and they would just purr in delight as they fed their litter. I get that now. I totally get it. Don't get me wrong...breastfeeding doesn't come without it's headaches- I have a barracuda/shark for a daughter. Don't for a moment think there aren't moments when I want to run and hide from her flapping jaws! I visited a lactation consultant and found out I had some sort of infection...wasn't sure if it was yeast(very common for nursing moms) or bacteria so they gave me an ointment to apply, and then past few days after I nurse her I feel this pins and needles like sensation in both breasts...what the heck? I think (after researching the oh so credible sources on the interwebs :) that I might be having a really strong milk let down which can sometimes feel this way. They say that women with this will have a baby who sometimes chokes and sputters cause the milk is letting down so quickly...enter exhibit A...my child. It's probably all a chain reaction...if she didn't come after me like a freaking shark eating its last supper my milk would probably let down a little less aggressively :) I have other friends who have had mastitis, and I even figured out that I spend between 4.5-7ish hours a day breastfeeding. That's a full time job almost!! Still I must say that for as much of a pain as breastfeeding can be......it's so worth it. Last weekend I went to my nieces birthday party, and I have yet to figure out how to use those stupid nursing covers so you can nurse in public. I hate them. I get mad at them every time I try to use one. I just don't have enough hands to hold my boob up for Abbie, hold her head and try and do it blindfolded...the cover has a little peak area but it always collapses against my chest so I can't see anything anyway. Anyways, at this point I had introduced a bottle to her so I wouldn't have issues with her taking it later. She won't eat them very well for me, but she will take them for others so I figured...someone in my family will take care of it for me. Anyway later that day we had to give her another bottle for time shortage reasons and that night I was sad. I couldn't wait to get home so I could feed her cause I missed her. Even though she was in the backseat of the car, I didn't realize how much I loved our bonding time together.
So long story short. I'm a breastfeeding advocate, but I'm not a do it all natural hippie either. I'm not gonna criticize someones choice to "do" breastfeeding differently then I do. For me what works is right now she gets breastfed. I am trying to give her one bottle a day (if I remember) so she is used to it for when I go back to work, and eventually when I do go back to work she will be given bottles during the day (I'm working part time). I do have the option of going to her daycare and feeding her over my lunch hour which I am going to try doing, but if it stresses me out then I will probably stop. I might need my lunch hour for sanity purposes. I think it will at least help initially with transition. I will get to have something to look forward to at lunchtime when I first go back. Above all I must say I love my pump...it's been a godsend! I needed it when Abbie was in the NICU in Peoria so I was so glad I had it then. I needed it when I was engorged to just relieve some of the pressure, and it is super nice to have as an option to pump a bottle before we go somewhere and take it with us so we have something for her if she gets hungry (since I can't use the stupid nursing cover!). I do have some mom friends who stay at home and say why would I need a pump....even if I was staying at home full time I would still want one. I like the freedom of being able to be away from my daughter, to go on dates with my hubby, etc and still provide her with milk.
Alright enough boob talk for now. Any others out there enjoy breastfeeding as much I have (even with all its pains)?