Post Baby Belly

So of course I have been having a hard time with my post baby belly. In all honesty it really isn't that bad, but I also know it isn't me, or at least it isn't the me that used to be me. I knew it was coming, but nothing can really prepare you for it. Your belly instantly deflates, and continues deflating and now I am at this stage where most of my old clothes don't look great cause they hug the pooch that has now become my abdomen, but maternity clothes are too big. I can fit into my pre last year weightloss jeans which is nice. I am currently glad I never got rid of what I labeled my "fat" clothes. They really weren't from a time when I was fat...I have to remember that. They were from a time when I was still a normal weight, but before I decided to change my lifestyle and be healthier. So I shouldn't call them "fat clothes" or I am going to start labeling myself as that. Here is one of the only pictures I can seem to find of me at my pre baby weight....I worked really hard in the spring/early summer of 2010 and ended up losing 10-11 lbs. Here is me after the weightloss:




This is of me and my cousin James at our cousin Laura's wedding. About a month after this was taken we found out we were expecting.

Here is one of me at 5 weeks pregnant. I remember feeling extremely bloated. So at the time my tummy looked and felt bloated to me, but looking at it now...I wish it still looked like this!



Sorry about the hair and lack of make up...I think Dave took this of me on a Saturday morning pre shower :)

Now here is one of me at 40 weeks pregnant:


and another....



and here is me today at 4 weeks post partum:


I am so antsy to be able to start working harder to tone my abs up again. I have started doing some stuff but am trying to do so minimally until my 6 week check up. I don't want to over stress myself. One thing I have realized is that my self esteem issues and lack of confidence in my body are gonna have to be gone for good, or at least in a place where I refuse to acknowledge this fear I have of not having a perfect, photo shopped body. Why you may ask? Because I have a daughter. It is my job to help instill within her a healthy self image. To know she is so loved and absolutely breathtakingly beautiful! If her mother doesn't have confidence in herself then how will she ever learn who God created her to be? Not that this rests entirely on my shoulders. I have to trust God with his will for her life, but it is a huge part of my responsibility to raise her up knowing she is an amazing girl! Having a healthy self image starts at home, and if she constantly hears her mother calling herself fat, or obsessing over calories and exercise then why wouldn't she do the same? It is now that I realize God really does have a purpose in everything and maybe part of his plan for me having a little girl was in realizing this huge responsibility, and that I would finally lay to rest some of my own struggles and trust that God is sovereign whether I have 5 extra pounds or not. I must remember that it's really not about binge diets and obsessive exercising. It's about a healthy lifestyle: taking care of myself and helping my family to do the same. Eating healthy, exercising, but also enjoying an ice cream cone every once in awhile, and letting myself sleep in occasionally instead of forcing myself out of bed for my morning workout.

I found a blog today and was encouraged by the article on Kim Kardashian. OK magazine printed an article with pictures of Kim just 7 days after having her baby. Kim spoke up later that her picture was indeed photo shopped on the cover. The picture on the left is what she actually looked like 7 days postpartum compared to the one on the right which was printed on the actual cover of the magazine:



If you'd like to read the rest of the blog post see this blog:

http://momgrind.com/2010/02/02/post-baby-body-stop/

Kind of a reality check, and I am so glad Kim was honest about what the magazine editors did. To know that she too, a celebrity...is human. I am really curious to see what my weight is at my 6 week check up. I weighed myself 5 days after I had Abbie and had lost 20#. In all over the whole pregnancy I gained like 37 I think. I was hoping to stay under 30 and at 36 weeks was only like 25 or 26#....I thought for sure I would make it...oh heck no! It was insane how rapid the weight came on at the end of pregnancy even if I wasn't eating a ton or eating crappy (of course I had my fair share of junk but nothing abnormal from what I did the rest of the pregnancy). It came on so quickly I ended up with a few stretch marks right under my belly button. It stressed me out the day I saw them start to appear...about week 39 I think. I went the whole time without any and then BAM! I was pissed. I used belly creams etc the whole pregnancy (or almost the whole thing) and I think at the end it was the rapid weight gain all at once that caused them. Oh well what could I do. I couldn't change anything that caused that to happen. Anyway...I haven't weighed myself since Day 5 post partum....I vowed to wait until my 6 week check to see my weight again. So we'll see....hoping I've lost more.
Maybe I'll use this blog as motivation to get myself back in shape so I can chart my progress...we'll see.
All for now!