Bring Him Home...

Today I have a special treat...my dear friend Christi is sharing a bit of her heart on how hard adoption can be, but also what a blessing adopting has been for her family!  

Are you in the process of adopting?  Have you adopted before?  Maybe it's something you aren't quite sure about, but know somewhere down deep there is a flicker of intrigue in your soul that yearns to wonder if God would someday ask you to adopt?  

Join me today friends as she shares a bit of her heart....

"I remember the day that we sat and talked about whether or not we could love a child that had not come from my womb... I remember the day I left Guatemala with my heart broken in PIECES as we prayed to adopt 2 sweet girls that we could not... I remember the day your daddy finally realized that he indeed, could love a child not from my womb... after all Jesus loves us and daddy and I love each other... we aren't blood sweet boy, but LOVE covers a multitude! 

Have you ever asked yourself these questions? While we were adopting our first son, I wrote this post and addressed a lot of those fearful adoption questions.

And here we are... 2 years after bringing our sweet Malakai Aweke home from Ethiopia... a day I'll NEVER forget just a few weeks later we found out we were going to have another child, your baby sister, Finley. When Finley was 3 months old, in obedience to the Lord, we moved all the way to Guatemala... and again, the Lord said HE had another child for us.... and we found YOU sweet boy!!

"I was lost in those BEAUTIFUL, deep brown eyes... 
I studied every curl on his little head... 
every little chubby finger... 
every stain on his dirty clothes... 
and I wondered... 
could he be ours?"

Waiting for you has been difficult at times... it's really not right. If you think about the fallen, sinful world that we live in, it makes total sense. However, I don't believe the Lord intended for children to be orphans... for poverty and disease to run rampant... or for children to spend months, sometimes years in orphanages waiting for a family. 

It's a unique place to be.... to love a child so much that you barely know... to not have the comfort of him being in your womb and controlling what he eats, what he experiences, what he feels... to not know IF your child is getting enough to eat or WHO is feeding him.... to not know if your child wakes up crying at night of IF anyone comforts him when he does... these are things no child or parent should experience! 

You, sweet child, are SUCH a blessing from the Lord! We love you so much and will do our best to raise you up in the ways of the Lord. You are loved by SO many and they are all anticipating your arrival. We anticipate no lack of love in your life! 

As I walk by your room each night on the way to ours, I can't help but peek in your crib, close my eyes, and dream of the day that you are in that crib. I think you're going to get sick of mommy staring at you all the time while you sleep! I promise I'll be really quiet when I sneak out of bed and over to your crib each night and I'm sure that daddy will find me sleeping on the floor next to your crib more than once! :) Feel free to wake up during the night... just so I can stare in those beautiful eyes and hold your sweet hands.

I wish I could put into words the miracle you are! You see, God knew your name before the creation of the world. Only He knows the plans for your life... and we are SO humbled that God would call us to be your mommy and daddy and for the way that He has shown us His love in this journey. You've changed so many hearts all ready and I can't wait to see you shine for Jesus! "

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Christi and her husband Dan are currently serving alongside their two children as missionaries at an orphanage in Guatamala.  They are both dear friends of ours.  Their sweet boy pictured above is still waiting to come home to be a part of his forever family and finally have someone to call mom and dad.  Their family is still in need of almost $4000 to bring him home and he is in need of some medical treatment as soon as they are able to bring him home.  The faster they get him home the better!

If you feel so led to do so, you can make a tax-deductible donation here.  Would you consider hosting a garage sale and donating proceeds to their family?  Or maybe a bake sale?  A youth group carwash?  Or share this story on your Facebook by clicking one of the icons below so others can hear their story.  Whatever it is, every dollar, and every person you share this with counts to bring their sweet boy Titus home for good! 

Anatomy of a Time Out and Some Parenting Resources

Photo Credit: babycalm.wordpress.com

Last week we discussed how we do toddler discipline here in our home.  You can read that post here.  I'm sure most of you know by now that parenting is an ever evolving, always changing by the moment, never quite the same with each kid challenge.

One day you try one thing and the next something else.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  Today I want to share with you how we do timeouts.

Anatomy of a Time Out:

1.  Set clear guidelines for your child on what will happen when a boundary is crossed.

Example:  "Abbie we are going to go take a bath now.  Mommy is going to go into the bathroom and run your bath water.  Please come with me so we can get you ready for your bath."  (Sometimes this is followed by willingness, and others by whining and crying and tantrums).  If her response is whining and crying.  I would then set a clear boundary.  "Abbie we don't get our way by crying and whining.  If you do not choose to be obedient and go into the bathroom so we can get you ready to take a bath, then you are going to have to have a time out."  I say all this without raising my voice, without yelling, without being irritated...I just point out that she can choose to not have a time out or she can choose to have one.

*I do want to point out that sometimes I mess up and get irritated and raise my voice...just wanted to remind you that discipline in my home isn't perfect :) 

2.  Follow through once the boundary is set.

Example:  Same as above scenario- If Abbie continued to cry and whine there wouldn't be any counting to 3 or threatening again, the result would be immediate action.  I give her a small pause to respond.  (Now that she knows we will follow through she responds more quickly.  If we didn't respond quickly there would be no reason for her to make the choice more quickly).  If she doesn't respond to obedience within the pause and continues to whine and cry I would immediately put her into a timeout.  Rule of thumb that I've heard is 1 minute per year so I give her a 2 minute timeout since she is 2 years old.  Again I set those parameters...I tell her she will be in a timeout for 2 minutes.  She may whine and cry and carry on throughout this, often times she hasn't quite settled down to complete quiet within 2 minutes but her behavior is much improved and she is ready to talk about things.  We then talk about the choice she chose and why she had a time out, and what she could do differently next time to avoid a time out.  There are hugs, kisses, I'm sorry's and all is forgotten.  We move on.  We go to the bathroom and take a bath and she is fine.  No grudges, no anger, no yelling.

It surprises me how much she understand at this age.  The other day I asked her a question about something that had happened earlier in the day and if she knew why she had a timeout.  She answered me with what she needed to do next time to not get a timeout.  I was amazed.  She is 2....they understand so much more than we give them credit for!

Here is a list of a few parenting resources that either I myself have found helpful or others have found helpful:


Helpful Parenting Resources for Christian Homes:

1.  Dare to Discipline- By Dr. James Dobson

2.  Any of the "Wise" books by Gary Ezzo

3.  Shepherding a Child's Heart- By Tedd Tripp

4.  Love and Logic- By Foster Cline

5.  The 5 Love Languages of Children- Gary Chapman

and last but not least.....
6.  THE BIBLE!- No matter what "amazing" parenting advice/resource someone gives to you, you should always make sure it lines up with scripture.  

There are many different ways to do things as a parent and some options are very wrong, but often times there is more than one right way.  Pray about what is best for your family and let God lead your heart in leading your children.  For example- I love the "Wise" books by Gary Ezzo, but I've found its 50:50 in the parenting world those who love them and those who hate them.  I followed the guidelines in these books about 50-60% of the time.  Somethings didn't work for us, but many of them did.  I have to remember that the next child we have may need different things than Abbie as well.  I also have heard a million good things about the Love and Logic books.  I recently started reading them and like MOST of the concepts, but there were a few things that bothered me...that's fine.  I can use what I like and I don't have to use what I don't like.  

What about you?  What are your favorite parenting resources? 

Blessings,

Selling Your House While Still Living Your Life

It's no secret to you all that we are trying to sell our house right now.  When we first found out Dave accepted a job offer, I immediately went into overdrive in getting the house ready as fast as possible to get it on the market.  I'm not going to lie.  Selling a house can be a really emotional experience.  It's been something that can easily cause me a lot of anxiety if I don't continue to give up control to God and trust Him with the timing of our house selling.  That being said I feel like we are finally in a groove, and though it can seem overwhelming at times, and if I focus too far forward on the future I start to get overwhelmed by thoughts of "will our house ever sell?" God has taught me a lot in the process and I wanted to share a few tips for any of you who are in the process of moving, or who will need some help with selling a home in the future!

So without further ado I give you....

How To Sell  Your House and Still Live Your Life

1.  Ask for help-  This is huge for me!  Especially since during the week I am a single mom.  When Dave was going to school full time and working full time last year I bucked up and did everything myself.  Never asking for help and only taking it if someone offered it to me.  Though me being me...I pretended I was fine and plastered a smile on my face.  To be honest during that season I was anything but fine.  Before Dave left for his first day of work at his new job in May he told me "You need to spend time with your friends.  You are going to be by yourself with a toddler and are going to go crazy so make coffee dates with friends.  Do things with other people.  You need to!"  He couldn't have been more right!  I have been so blessed by people in this season: offering to watch Abbie, bringing me Starbucks, asking me to go on lunch dates on my work days, inviting us over for supper, watching our dog, etc.  My father in law has even been diligently sprucing up things around the house and mowing our lawn as needed while Dave is gone.

2.  Declutter toys-  This one has been so hard for me.  I just want Abbie to be a kid, but I can't have a million toys out now since we could have showings at anytime.  Plus one of the things they are pretty adamant about when putting your house on the market is encouraging you to get rid of toys and clutter.  I put many of Abbie's toys in storage, and for the ones left I have them hidden in cute storage so they aren't an eye sore for people touring our home.  We do the best we can with the season of life we are in, but I am so thankful for friends and family that allow us to come to their homes and let Abbie play to her toddler hearts content.  In all honesty sometimes I go to Dave's parents house with her just cause I know she can get out whatever she wants, can play as long as she likes, and then we can clean it up before we leave.  I also try to stay out of the house more on my days off.  Being there is a source of stress for me right now and when I am home it's hard not to just have fun with Abbie cause I am so focused on keeping the house ready for show.  It makes my heart hurt.  So in order to spend quality time with her we go out a lot- the park, playground, splash park, zoo, museum, walks....when we are not at home I can enjoy time with her so much more and we both need that right now.  

3.  Learn the art of surface cleaning- Because my house is clean  most of the time now I don't have to deep clean nearly as much.  I clean the surface as needed.  I can dust quickly using a wool duster to quickly get up what is visually dusty.  I have Clorox wipes handy in the bathroom cupboard for quick wipe downs.  I run the cordless vacuum more regularly to pick up toddler crumbs, and then vacuum and mop the entire house as needed when I notice it needs it.  Keeping up on this on a regular basis actually has cut down my cleaning time...weird.  I don't want my house to look like kids don't live there once we sell it, but in the future I am thinking there is some validity to this regular cleaning in small intervals thing.  It's much easier than letting it go and deep cleaning on a regular basis.

4.  Make a checklist-  Each night I have a regimen of getting things ready for the next day (if the next day is a workday), and cleaning up around the house.  Before I leave each day for work I make sure all surfaces are clean, all things are picked up, blinds are open, lights are on, and the air is on a suitable temperature in case a showing happens in the afternoon.  Basically I leave my home show ready 247 whenever I am leaving the house for an extended period of time.  This allows for no anxiety when a Realtor calls wanting to show it to a client, because everything is always ready for them when they call.  I'm not going to lie...I don't want to see our electric bill right now, but to us that is a small price to pay when it means we are more readily able to show our home at a moments notice.  Added bonus- I am a vet tech so a HUGE blessing....my dog comes to work with me :)

5.  Eat simply-  For as much as I love to make homemade nutritious meals for my family this new season of life has forced me to give myself grace and you know what?  Grace is refreshing.  It's teaching me that I don't have to have a homemade meal every night, and I can still find ways to feed my family nutritious choices most of the time.  It's also  helping me to be ok with a premade meal and eating out sometimes.  The most important goal is: we need to eat, and as the mom...I don't need to beat myself up if this isn't homemade every night!  I try to cook in bulk right now as much as I can and we eat a lot of things that are good as leftovers because of it.  This means less clean up after meal prep and cooking since I do it less = less work and a cleaner kitchen!  We also eat simple things like hummus and veggies, cheese and crackers with fruit, etc.  The simpler the better!

6.  Pray-  This one is most important.  Ultimately I have to trust God with the sale of our home and His timing.  In all honesty, He is in control of all things, and if He wanted our home sold right now it already would be.  I know He's teaching us so much in this.  I must learn to be content in all things and glorify God no matter what season He has me in.  This is hard to do, but it's a must.  When I start to get worried or anxious I can go to Him and my heart calms once again, and the anxiety lessens.  He may not take away the problem but He changes my perspective.  All the sudden a burden becomes a blessing, and we are so very blessed.  

Have you ever sold a home?  What tips do you have to share that helped you keep your sanity in the process?

Blessings,