Love and (Dis)respect

Today has been an interesting day...a good day, but an interesting one. My hubby and I have been eagerly awaiting the spring in order to start our outdoor projects. With him taking 3 classes while working full time, life can be a little crazy. We had originally decided that we would work on outdoor projects once the spring semester ended during his break before summer school started. Then the other day we were like...well why not just get it over with that way his break is actually well...a break. I told him that I could dig up the old patio and try to keep his work as minimal as possible since he is in school right now. So then we come to today...forecasts were calling all week for snow in central Illinois this weekend even though we have had days in the upper sixties this week. I woke up this morning seeing the sun shining somewhat but still cloudy...no snow, no rain, a little chilly but I thought eh why not...let's get this project started cause who knows what the weather will be like later. Well lo and behold the project ended up being much harder then I thought it would be for a girl anyway, but I was determined. I ended up getting kinda irritated at the hubby cause he was inside doing homework and not helping me which of course led to an argument, then to an even bigger argument which involved me being angry, saying disrespectful things I shouldn't, and some not so very nice words. I know I have a temper....it's my worst trait. I can't seem to nip it in the butt.
Sometimes I find that I hurt the one I love the most, the worst....because I know he loves me so much and will forgive me. I think out of all the people in my life he is the one I truly can say I trust. I still have my moments of fear even with him that I get defensive to protect myself and my heart...then I remember...this is Dave....he loves me!
My temper gets me in trouble and to be quite honest it's inexcusable. I have my own 26 year old version of temper tantrums sometimes and when I really step back and look at them from the outside in, I recognize how ridiculous they are. I pray that God will free me from the hold my anger sometimes can have on me. That it would be replaced with joy. That I would love and respect my husband as God has called me to.
The day improved and turned out to be quite a good day! I finished digging up both patios...took me about 4.5 hours but it's all done except for a small area I left to walk out our back door on so we don't have to trek through mud. I spent some time with my neighbor and her family- taught her how to make homemade laundry soap which is a huge money saver. Took some measurements for our new patio to calculate how many cubic yards of concrete we need...it's gonna cost more than I anticipated but it's ok. We have some extra income this month and we both know how much we will really enjoy having this space for ourselves and entertaining in it. Went out to eat at chipotle and went shoe shopping with the hubs. A good day! I'm excited and intrigued cause a friend of mine has just started making her own yogurt,....it's actually really easy so I am excited to try it!
All for now...sorry some of this post is so random!
God Bless!