I've had this desire in my heart for awhile now that I am just not sure what to do with. I spoke a little about it in one of my first posts. For quite sometime now I've questioned whether this path I am on is really the right path for me? Is this is really where God has taken me or if this is where I brought myself to? I like safety. I like security. I like control. Don't get me wrong I've seen purpose and learning in this path along the way, but I'm just not sure my heart lies within my present career state. I work with animals, cause I've always loved animals, but lately my heart just wants to help people. Women in particular. I've always loved moments of sharing with young single women or even with women in dating relationships. My spiritual gifts are definitely highest in counseling and shepherding which explains why so many times women whom I don't even know very well will just start sharing intimate details about themselves with me. They open up even the most wounded areas of their hearts and share them with me! Why me? I've grown to really enjoy speaking in front of women, investing in their lives, and letting God work through me. I've even thought about writing as a way of investing into women's lives and I just smile at the thought, and though I do care about animals it doesn't bring me true joy. I've tried to be content. God has blessed me with so many things....so much more than I deserve, but I can't help but wonder if I painted this picture of my life myself? Did I really let the master of the universe lead me here or did I force myself one step ahead of him so that I could maintain control? I write this because it's been on my heart.
Recently I learned of a conference through Proverbs31.org ministries that I could attend in order to gain knowledge and experience as a public speaker and writer. I've been praying about this opportunity. God do you really want me here? It's completely something that I am not in control of if He does. I can't even begin to admit how scared I am if God really does want this for me? To maybe leave the field of veterinary medicine which I've known for so long? To give up a steady paycheck? Lord I ask only because I want to be fully yours!
I've been reading Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl, by Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs31 Ministries. As I read her story about how she came to be where she is now, jumping from one career to the next, "filling this gap" that only could be filled by the Creator Himself, my entire being related with her heart. "Who am I God?" I ask. "Where do you want to send me?"
Much to my surprise when I checked on the Proverbs31 website at the beginning of this week I found this link:
http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2010/03/she-speaks-scholarship-contest.html
A scholarship for someone to go to this amazing conference!
And here is a link all about the conference itself:
http://www.shespeaksconference.com/index.htm
I write this post hoping to possibly be the one chosen to win such an amazing opportunity! For now I just sit, wait, and pray for God's timing and His provision for my life! Even if I don't win, I don't take that as a sign that this isn't where God wantsme. I'll just continue to pray that I will give God all of me to use for His purposes and not my own.
God Bless!
Bridget
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