Full Heart.....Full Home

I can hardly believe that I get to post this on my blog wall.....

Ahhh!!!! I am so excited about going to this years She Speaks Conference. God is just blessing my socks off right now as he provides affirmation after affirmation to me confirming that He so wants me there.

Satan is trying his hardest to implant doubt and fear in my mind and stomp on my confidence.

Here is just a little part of my story that I sent out to some friends requesting their prayers and support:

So I am pretty much forcing myself to ask for prayer on this because I am really nervous, scared, excited, fearful of what people will think, and fearful of not being good enough, or not doing the right thing...blah blah blah etc
So for a long time now I have been pretty passionate about ministering to women in general. Some of you may not know that, some of you may....for years I have been hiding behind a part of me that really isn't very recognizable as a woman who would want something like that, but the real me....the real me somewhere along the line tossed aside a huge part of who I am. It's funny because I really am an extroverted person but I've become way more introverted only because of fear, doubt, shame, but its not really who I am at all.

Starting back in high school after I became a christian I had some opportunities to speak about my faith in front of others- a few times in high school to my peers in a few different situations, to my youth group, helping be a core student leader on my college campus' Intervarsity Christian Fellowship and speaking in front of that group as well as at some of our annual retreats with students from other chapters. I've since written a few things and all along the way I can now remember looking back and many times I would hear from people...wow you should be a writer, or a speaker, or you should write a book etc. Some of my strongest spiritual gifts are in administration/shepherding, and wisdom, being very closely followed by encouragement and one or two others but those are my main ones.
Since college I have not pursued much with women's ministry. It's always been close to my heart, but because of various circumstances I kept closing my heart off to it- I was in a huge church for awhile where it was hard to become a part of anything, and my current church doesn't have a women's ministry. I've listened to so many lies that Satan has told me "Your story isn't very profound...who would want to hear it" You don't have any training why do you think anyone would listen?" and the list goes on....
I write this now because a few years ago I learned about a conference held in North Carolina every year through Proverbs 31 ministries. At the time I thought about going but it's a lot of money and I just felt like it was too much for me to justify it. Well over the past few months I have grown so much through a bible study I have been doing and have just felt speaking and writing being on my heart again, and even again this morning someone randomly mentioning something about this conference on their blog and they aren't even a part of Proverbs 31 ministries. I can't help but wonder if I missed something....so long ago. If I had really stopped to pay attention would I have seen something, but on the other hand, if the past few years hadn't of happened God wouldn't have been able to grow me like he did.

My prayer requests are the following:

#1 Is this even something God wants for me/us? That God would make it clear whether He wants me to pursue this or not, and then to be confident and bold to follow his prompting

#2 That he would reveal specifics to my heart in his timing- that doing things for his kingdom are both big and small....whether this would be helping train and mold me to speak into women's lives in a small way, or in a bigger way with speaking and writing....its all important to him and all he asks of me is to be obedient to him.

#3 Cost
I need to make a decision quickly before the conference is sold out and cost is going to be about $1000 for hotel, conference fee, and plane tickets. They recommend trying to raise money for support, and we don't have a lot of money right now but in order to secure my spot we would have to pay the fee for registration. Proverbs 31 ministries recommends trying to get people to sponsor you- kind of like when people ask for short term missions support

#4 For my heart- for so long I have felt Satan lie to me again and again and again and I believed him. For so long he held me back from being usable by God for his glory and his kingdom because I listened to what he was telling my heart. Would you pray for continued strength to push forward by God's strength alone to finally be free of the chains Satan tries to hold me back with.

Thanks so much for taking the time to listen! I so badly desire your prayers! Also, I know I need to rely on God alone but I am a words of affirmation person....if anyone has anything encouraging to say to me that would help get rid of the lies Satan is trying to tell me to hold me back then please send me a message! I would love to hear anything God puts on your heart!

In Him,
Bridget

And then today I updated them all on things that had happened in the last 48 hours since sending them the above message:

So excited to share some updates- after much prayer, I know God is asking me to go. So I am going! I am so excited! My heart was in so much turmoil- so much fear, doubt, flooding my mind and I continued to get one affirmation after another in addition to all of your kinds words- including a personal email from one of the speakers who will be at the conference saying if I did end up coming that she would take me under he wing and introduce me to lots of people (cause I shared with her how scared I was, how inexperienced I was, and wondered what God could possibly want with me...plain ole Bridget Bareither at a conference where there will be hundreds of successful christian authors and speakers...some of which I am already shaking from knowing that I will be able to shake their hands!, and also confirmation in the form of an anonymous donation. I still need more to go but it was such a blessing from God to be given anything in the first place. I am so at peace with this decision. The last time I felt this peaceful about something was when Dave and I felt God asking us to trust Him with starting a family and a month later, we found out we were expecting Abbie.
Thank you all so much for your encouraging words! They mean so much to me. Please keep praying as I do feel like the enemy is definitely trying to burden my heart with doubt and fear about going.
I am just waiting on an email back from one of the women at Proverbs 31 so I can process my registration and then I'll need to focus on booking my plane ticket.
Keep praying!
In Him!
Bridget

Since then.....I am officially registered and purchased my plane tickets. Still praying for more financial support to help cover these costs!!

So pumped and in awe of what God's done so far. I can't imagine what he has in store for me at the conference!!!