(Please read Part I and Part II of my story first before continuing on...)
Now one of the things I heard from several speakers throughout the weekend was looking for your niche in speaking and writing. Doing so out of your brokenness and what you are passionate about. We could choose to speak on anything, but really where God tends to use us most is in areas He has brought us through. I am currently still praying about this but I believe my passion for the verses in Titus 2 has something to do with this. I have always loved teaching women about home management, marriage advice, parenting stuff....even none spiritual things like cloth diapering advice, breastfeeding advice, etc....I just love helping other women understand more so that they too can succeed at what they set out for their hearts to do. I first started wondering if this wasn't what He was putting on my heart back in early spring when I found my friend Su's blog The Intentional Home. Su is amazing and was also a first time She Speaks attender! She teaches women life skills, marriage advice, couponing, freezer stocking, etc. I love it! She challenged me through her blog, as well as one of the speakers, that we are to be servants of God's word in our homes first, than in our outside obligations with speaking to other women etc. So I think I need to just keep learning. Submitting to God in my role as a wife, mother, and home manager and just become a good student of those things. Growing everyday, and sharing my knowledge with other women with the skills God is equipping me with.
Some other things I am praying about right now that I am passionate about are:
- healthy body image (I struggled with a borderline eating disorder)
- the compassion I have to moms of all types (there is so much judgement in the mom world sometimes...working mom vs stay at home mom, natural birth vs epidural/csection, breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, cloth diapering vs disposable, attachment parenting vs letting your baby cry it out, its all unnecessary judgement, and God has changed my heart so much and broken off so much of that judgement by having me be a part time working mom that I am forever greatful that he has asked this of me right now. For if he had let me stay at home right away I never would have learned it and I praise him for contining to refine and grow me.
- Marriage- a theme I kept hearing spoken to my heart throughout the weekend was about how our marriage is a witnessing opportunity. Dave and I are currently praying about what this means for us as a couple. How could God use our marriage in small and big ways for His glory?
After my quiet time that day I walked out of my hotel room, bursting and alive again, only to see Stephanie, my prayer girl walking out of hers at the same time. Turns out, we were neighbors, and I could read it all over her face. She had just done the same thing I had. Her smile, just as big as mine. Her heart was overflowing and she shared. I shared, and we cried. Her heart is so genuine and I know God will do big things in her life. I was so blessed to have that moment to sit down with her and just listen to her heart and what God had just spoken to her. Because of my new friendship with her, she introduced me to another mom who was very burdened for the working mom world. Many times as a working mom I have felt segregated. Some of it was assumed by me. I don't think many people do it on purpose, but its hard to feel like you belong as a working mom. Mom's groups are all during the day when....the working moms are working. I have heard some very judgemental things about working moms be said to me even before I had kids that have haunted me ever since. Overall we are just that...moms. The same purpose, the same God given roles, equally loved by our creator. I cried that night when I shared my passion about the judgement moms had sometimes on each other to my new friends heart, and I knew, that maybe God was onto something after all as he broke down the walls in my heart over the last year and a half of teaching me to work at the same time as being a mother and a wife.
Sunday morning the message was amazing. The time was too short, but what surprised me most about this weekend was how real and genuine everyone was. Lysa Terkeurst (the founder and president of Proverbs 31 ministeries- pictured below) herself was so normal. Just a normal mom trying to be with her family as much as she could, balancing ministry with being a mother and a wife, the same body image struggles we've all had, and there she was...normal, real, genuine. It was not something I expected. These women were some of the most humble people I have ever met in my life. One of the other woman from Proverbs 31 shared something about Lysa that I will never forget, she said that all of the money from the purchases of Lysa's books goes back into the ministry. Not a dime goes to her from any of them. She is on the New York Time's Best Seller List and yet she hasn't gotten a penny from all of her hard work in writing those. Wow! I was blown away and humbled by that. Now I know Lysa would never share this about herself, but it meant a lot to me to hear that. To put into perspective that these ladies are far from selfish. These ladies are just doing what the rest of us are striving to do, big or small, choosing to say yes to God and be obedient to whatever He asks of them. No matter how scary. No matter how hard. To just say yes to God. Does this mean I will ever be the President of an amazing ministry like Proverbs 31...of course not! It could mean for the rest of my life I am just intentional about sharing what God puts on my heart with people- could be bigger like mom's groups, could be just being real in a bible study, or sharing my heart with a new friend during story hour at the library....whatever I do that my to do list is held up to God daily to trust Him with the divine appointments He has for me that day.
Lysa Terkeurst and I at She Speaks 2012
My flights home were funny as I quickly realized miraculously my friend Kelly and I were seated next to each other on the same flight and even on my flight back home, on a tiny plane, another She Speaks sister was waiting in the seat next to me. God is good. He knows our needs. He calls us to this very moment and the beauty of it all, is that all I have to do is keep saying yes God, and let Him remind me time and time again that He is Worth it!
Samantha, me, and Kelly at She Speaks 2012
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