My Journey to She Speaks Series

Journey to She Speaks Part 1: Called to Go

This past weekend July 20-22nd I attended a conference called She Speaks hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries based out of Concord North Carolina.  This conference is for aspiring Christian women writers and speakers.  I first heard about this conference a few years ago...I believe it was actually when I was pregnant maybe, or the spring before I got pregnant, and it cost quite a bit to go so I immediately told myself no, you can't go.  You see, I have really enjoyed for a long time being able to encourage women.  When I was in college I was a social butterfly.  I was a student leader in my school's Intervarsity Christian Fellowship and a few times spoke in small ways to the group through that and really enjoyed it when I did.  I remember being the MC for the group many nights and trying to make people feel welcome and wanted upon arrival.  I loved that.  After I got married, my roles changed a lot.  My roles as a wife, and eventually as a mother consumed me, and in many ways they should, but in many ways we also can segregate ourselves from other fellowship God has for us by letting our homes be all consuming.  It's about balance and also trusting that even when we aren't home with our families 247 that ultimately they are God's and we have to entrust them to His care.  We need to be obedient to ways God can stretch us in our faith and what he is calling us to.  I've known for along time that He had put this desire on my heart to serve women in someway shape or form and I just wasn't exactly sure what He wanted me to do.  

Let me rewind just for a few moments to this past January.  I was doing an online bible study on a book called A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.

 Time out for a picture:

Renee Swope and I at She Speaks 2012

Renee is one of the main people helping run Proverbs 31 ministry.  Her book was amazing and life changing, and really helped me sort through some things with God that I have needed to do for a long time.  I knew as I was reading through this book how much I had ignored this passion he had put in my heart to serve him through serving women.  As I was working through all of this stuff through the bible study I remembered the She Speaks conference and how a few years back I felt somewhat of an itch to go but had quickly stifled the desire.  I had started hearing more about this conference now through Renee and on the Proverbs 31 website, and started to wonder if God wasn't continually bringing this up for a reason in my life right now.  I really started to feel a strong push to go.  I lacked confidence though.  I didn't want to have to choose to decide to do something like that.  Besides it would cost close to $1000 to go including conference cost, hotel cost, and plane ticket.  We hardly had any extra money to do anything with since Abbie was born let alone being able to afford $1000 to do something like this with.  The final straw came at the end of February when Jill Savage (pictured below), founder of Hearts at Home, a mom's ministry located in my town  posted on 

Jill Savage and I at She Speaks 2012

her blog about the She Speaks conference.  I receive her blog feeds regularly.  In this post she said she knew some of us were interested in speaking and writing and really encouraged us to think about attending this conference but that if we really wanted to go we should register soon because registration fills up fast. 
 At that point I knew I needed to really pray about it, or I was going to miss my chance.  I asked many of my friends and family to pray for me- pray for affirmation in going, pray for finances to go, pray for my confidence because Lord, why in the world would you ask me, a Veterinary Technician to speak and write?  I don't have a journalism degree or any sort of English anything besides English 101 and 102.  God put some very specific verses on my heart during this time from Isaiah 6: 8-13

It reads:

 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? ”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

 He said, “Go and tell this people:

“‘Be ever hearing, but never understanding;

    be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’ 

Make the heart of this people calloused; 

    make their ears dull

    and close their eyes.^[a] 

Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

    hear with their ears, 

    understand with their hearts,

and turn and be healed.”

   Then I said, “For how long, Lord?”

And he answered:

“Until the cities lie ruined 

    and without inhabitant,

until the houses are left deserted 

    and the fields ruined and ravaged, 

until the Lord has sent everyone far away 

    and the land is utterly forsaken. 

And though a tenth remains in the land,

    it will again be laid waste. 

But as the terebinth and oak

    leave stumps when they are cut down,

  so the holy seed will be the stump in the land.”

Many tears came upon reading those verses and just hearing God speak it to my heart.  He asked so I shall go and how long Lord do you want me to do this.....for as long as you live.  After seeking out wise counsel, much prayer and without a doubt, affirmation from God I said alright God I will go.  I have no idea what you are doing God but I know without a doubt you want me to go.  He doesn't always ask the person with the most credentials, he often times uses us in our brokenness, all He really asks is for us to have a willing obedient heart.  So I registered and less than 72 hours later, the conference was paid for by some really generous people who also believed God was asking me to go.  



To Be continued....