Welcome to all of the ladies from the Mommy Blog Hop. It's been over a year and a half now since my daughters birth, but I still remember that day like it was yesterday! I know how much I love reading birth stories so I wanted to step back in time for a moment and share my heart from that day. As I reread through it myself so many memories washed over me....A scary beginning for one of the strongest little girls I've ever met!
Thanks for stopping by friends and I hope you join me again soon!
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Seems kind of funny that it was hard for me to even update the blog on my pregnancy, and now I want to write up our daughter's birth story. I guess I want to write it so that I never forget it. There are so many small details that don't matter to anyone else but me...but that's why they are so important. I never want to forget any of them! So here it goes...
Saturday April 2nd 2011 1:00AM
I woke up to one heck of a contraction. Of course I had been having braxton hicks contractions for weeks now. I know not to get excited unless they actually are consistently time able. I try to go back to sleep but that doesn't work. They aren't horrible contractions but it is too painful to sleep. I decide to get up and go wait it out and see if they really are true contractions. I sit on my birthing ball for awhile and watch TV. Sure enough these contractions are consistently about 5 minutes apart. 5 minutes? Aren't they supposed to start out further apart then that, I would be in labor for hours, and then eventually after hours they would be really close together and out would come our baby. They started to become 4 minutes apart and only about 30 seconds long. I decided around 3AM that this was true labor and I should wake Dave. Dave wakes up, super excited that today is the day, and we decide since they are getting closer together we should go to the hospital. I finish packing my toiletries into my hospital bag. Dave loads up the car and we take off. I should have known that I wasn't that far into labor when I decided I could still do my makeup before leaving at 3AM.
We get to the hospital and they hook me up to the monitors. Sure enough I am having contractions (really? did they have to hook me up to tell me that?) however my stats are no different then my doctors appt a week before...3cm and this chick says I am a -3 station...seriously? My doctor says I was a +1....I ask and she tells me that it all depends on the person measuring you...there is no actual "scale." I decide to believe my doctor because #1 he is a doctor (she was a nurse) and #2 it made me feel better to think I was further along! Since I'm overdue they say they normally don't let overdue moms go home but they did give me the choice....Dave and I decided to get the heck out of there before the on call Dr arrived and threatened to break my water since I wanted to do things as naturally as possible.
Well thank God we did.....we went home and we walked, and walked. I bounced and bounced on the birthing ball. I am trying not to eat too much but also have no idea when this period of my labor will end. I try to sleep...can't sleep. Contractions still mild, but too close together to get sleep. I doze off for short catnaps as I can. Dave is trying to get as much homework done as he can cause he knows...we are going to the hospital at sometime...not sure when but this baby is coming. About 7PM that night I finally convince Dave he needs to sleep cause I am going to need him at some point and I don't want us both being tired. He heads to bed while I try and make myself comfortable in the living room distracting myself with movies, birthing balls, showers (as I can cause the water makes contractions oh so much more bearable!), and sleep...still not having it. I am so fricking tired at this point. I have now been in labor for almost 24 hours.
About 11:30 Saturday night something just sporadically changed. My contractions were still consistently 5 minutes apart, but now about 60 seconds long...and much stronger. I realize I am in active labor now. So I bounce on the ball, I take a shower as I need to, use my breathing techniques if it helps...about 2AM the contractions are starting to get hard! I decided to wake up Dave cause I needed someone to coach me with breathing, and I knew I couldn't do it by myself anymore. He wakes up and very quickly my contractions go from 5 minutes to 3 minutes....hard, long intense contractions. I was getting really shaky but attributed this to the fact that maybe the house was a little cold. Thought about taking a shower to help with pain but wasn't sure I could hold myself up anymore. Stationed myself on the birthing ball cause that was the only thing helping at this point. Gripping the mantle seemed to help for some reason...my other hand gripping Dave's as needed. I looked at him, knowing that I was a first time mom and that this part of labor would probably be about 6-8 more hours, I said I can't do this for that much longer. These are so intense. Take me to the hospital now. I want the epidural (I at this point am thinking I am probably only 5-6cm dilated and can't do this for forever!) Dave is trying to stall cause he knows deep down I don't want any drugs. Finally I look at him and say I don't care anymore I want to go now! Load up the car now! He is running around the house throwing in the last few things we needed (most was packed from the night before) and at the same time running back to me to coach me through contractions.
We get in the car and I swear we drove down the bumpiest road I have ever driven on (I have since driven down it and it's not so bad but that night...holy cow it hurt to drive down it!) Dave later told me that on our way to the hospital my contractions were less than 2 minutes apart, and I in turn didn't tell him that as we pulled in I felt pelvic pressure and I knew that I was mistaken at that point...I was almost ready to push. We waited in the car for one more contraction so that I would have time to get into the hospital without having one. Me being me...I insisted on walking into the hospital from the parking lot. Someone later pointed out how insane I am for that. Just goes to show how independent and stubborn I can be I guess! We get inside, and Dave puts me in a wheelchair and about punches the guy in line in the ER cause I obviously was one very in labor mama. They had seen us 24 hours before so they knew us already! A nurse came to push me up to labor and delivery and I am pretty sure I about made her wet her pants. She looked at me and obviously realized how far into labor I was and said has your water broken? I said no. I said I am starting to feel pelvic pressure. I hear her say to another nurse "we need to check her now!" I think she was just scared to deliver me in an elevator :)
They wheeled me up into labor and delivery, and I knew the drill. Earlier that day I had kindly went into the bathroom. Changed into the lovely gowns and came out for them to check me. Not now. I immediately started stripping as I walked across the room and pretty much fell onto the bed (in hindsight Dave and I both found this to be pretty hilarious cause I could have cared less at that point!) The nurse checked me and sure enough all that was left to dilate was the lip of my cervix. They called my doctor and I was thinking oh I hope he can get here in time cause there is no way I am going to be able to hold back pushing once that urge starts. Sally (my main nurse) was a godsend. Just as the contractions got really intense and I was having trouble with the breathing techniques Dave and I had practiced she got in my face and helped me with a new one that made things much more bearable! My doctor walked in the room about 5 seconds before I felt the urge to push and I could not hold back. I let out a load moanish groanish type sound...sounds horrible, but its the only thing you really can do when you feel the natural urge to push. I'm not sure that people with epidurals ever feel this? I have no idea. So maybe you will understand what I am talking about. My water still had not broken so he broke it and we got right down to pushing. I pushed about 5 times total. I was having trouble focusing at first but again Sally my little nurse angel helped me the whole time. I remember being really loud when I was pushing...Dave reassured me later that I didn't say anything bad though! I had discussed with my doctor before that I really didn't want an episiotomy if he could help it. I understood sometimes its necessary but if I was only going to tear a little bit I would rather tear. He agreed, but said a lot of times with first time moms its really hard to prevent. Before my last push he said "Bridget look at me..if you don't want me to cut you, you need to get this baby out now" I pushed with everything I had, him coaching me so I wouldn't tear, and out came our baby. At 5:25AM on Sunday April 3rd, Abigail Elizabeth, finally decided to arrive.
My first reaction was, what is it?" (we had waited to find out the sex). Dave looked at me and said "Who cares" and I was like "Well I care." I was so high on my post delivery endorphins that I didn't realize what was happening. Our baby was blue. Not slightly blue. Not sort of gray. Blue. Limp. Lifeless. What I didn't know when my doctor said I needed to get this baby out now, was that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. This isn't too uncommon, but since he could already see her head, he knew she was blue and needed to be out now. They lifted the leg and said it was a girl and immediately started working on her to get her to breath. It really didn't hit me until much later how tragic it could have been, but God just gave me such a peace throughout the whole thing. I started to see her color turn more pink. I heard a whimper and I knew she was fine. Dave was a mess. Tears streaming down his face. So worried about his baby girl. I don't know why I was so calm. God just blessed me with it I think. I didn't get to hold her after she was born. They wrapped her up brought her to me and let me hug and kiss her and said she was having some breathing difficulty so they were going to take her to the nursery to get her breathing better. Dave took off with her to make sure she was ok. I was left sitting there, crotch bared to the world, really happy that labor was over and that we had a girl! I wanted a girl but was 95% sure it was a boy. Don't get me wrong I would have been happy with either! My doctor said I only needed one stitch! So excited about that! I can handle one stitch! Dave came back in to check on me....still really emotional and our doctor prayed with us. What a moment I will cherish forever. They soon told us that our baby's oxygen levels were not going up as quickly as they would like and they wanted to transfer her to the NICU at OSF St. Francis in Peoria. I am not sure why this still wasn't all phasing me...I just knew she was fine. I wasn't worried at all. We got to go into the nursery shortly after and I got see her. Touch her. Talk to her. She looked exactly like my newborn picture....spitting image! I'm curious to see what traits of Dave and I become apparent in her as she grows.
This is a picture of Abbie...first time I really got to see her after they were working on her in the nursery:
My doctor told me he was going to get all my discharge instructions together so that I could be released to go with her. Didn't hit me until later that this doesn't happen. Who gives birth and walks out of a hospital two hours later? Another huge blessing...had I not given birth naturally, or needed more stitches I would have been stuck in the hospital and she would have been an hour away from me. Instead I got to go be with her.
In the meantime I can remember sitting in my room almost immediately after giving birth thinking man...I am so hungry! Since Abbie didn't get released until about 8:30AM they let me order breakfast...biscuits and gravy never tasted so good :)
This is a pic of us with nurse angel Sally right before we left the hospital to go to Peoria:
The medical team from Peoria soon arrived to transport Abbie. They brought her by my room before they left. She was in the scariest contraption I have ever seen:
After Abbie left we packed up our things and got ready to go. We planned to stop at home briefly...I of course really wanted a shower, and we needed to pack a few extra things since we would be in Peoria for a few days. I felt bad as we pulled into our driveway wondering if our neighbors saw us. My stomach was obviously much smaller, we arrived home basically in our pajamas, and no baby. If I was our neighbor and would have seen us I would have thought the worst. I made a point to call one of them later to make sure they knew. I took the best shower ever cause you just feel gross after giving birth and we packed up the rest of the car and were on our way. My parents were hilarious....they actually drove to Peoria immediately upon talking to me after Abbie's arrival and were waiting there for us before Abbie even left Bloomington.
We arrived in Peoria close to 11:30 or 12 and Abbie was already on room air and doing well. This is our first family picture:
I finally got to nurse her around 3PM that afternoon and she latched on like a champ. Even though she was staying in the intensive care unit the doctors at St Francis said she was doing so well they were going to just treat her like any other newborn. We just had to wait to make sure some lab results came back in the clear and we would be able to go home. Dave and I stayed in a hotel while in Peoria and I fed her throughout the day, and tried to pump what little milk I had at the time to leave with them for overnight. I was a little worried about nipple confusion since they would be giving her bottles at night. Monday was hard cause she hardly would nurse at all...just slept all day, and you know how hospitals are...they push and push you to say they need "x" number of ounces when really its quite normal for them to be sleeping that much. I was worried they wouldn't let me go home if she didn't have enough wet diapers...Tuesday morning came...Bloodwork looked great and I got there that morning and she immediately latched and did great with breastfeeding...I think she was just tired Monday. We left the hospital around noon on Tuesday. Here is a picture with one of our main nurses Diane right before we left:
I have no regrets about any of Abbie's birth story at all. Already only 10 days post her birthday I remember every moment fondly. I never knew how much my heart would change in a second...the moment she came into the world. She already had a piece of my heart...her daddy's too. What a blessing she has been! Your world changes so drastically in an instant. Just when I thought I couldn't love Dave anymore, I saw him become a father, and I fell in love with him all over again. God could not have given me a more amazing husband and father for our children.
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