In The Trenches of Motherhood

The following was written after a very bad day in my world of motherhood.  As I sat down to write this post I must admit it wasn't a planned one.  I had other thoughts for what my posts this week would look like, but after the day I had, I needed to share with you and I pray God has something in this for each of you:  young or old, married or single.  I give you my heart....

For all you veteran mothers out there...

I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry I ever judged you.  Any of you!

I'm sorry for judging you, mom who is still nursing her 18 month old child, thinking he or she was too old to be doing so.  I never understood it until I had a child and we breastfed until 15 months and she decided it was time to quit but I would have kept going much longer in a heartbeat had she wanted to.

I'm sorry for judging you, new mom who both baby and child seemed to catch onto breastfeeding from birth, and never had any problems.  Breastfeeding took us so long to catch onto but we made it, and you did it too, and neither you nor I are better than the other for it.

I'm sorry for judging you 40 weeks pregnant mom who only gained 20 pounds.  I worked out almost everyday of my pregnancy, gave into some cravings but didn't overeat, who only had gained 26 pounds at 36 weeks gestation but for some reason gained almost 14 pounds in the last 4 weeks.  We both tried.  You did great and so did I and I don't need to be mad at you for it.  Nor do you need to judge me and assume I ate cheeseburgers everyday!

I'm sorry for judging you, mom who chose to not have natural childbirth.  I'm not a stronger women because of having a natural childbirth.  Childbirth is one of the most intense physical things we will ever go through.  No one should feel like they had less of a birth because of what happened during their labor.

I'm sorry for judging you mom whose parenting style is different than mine.  Truth of the matter is God puts different things on different parents hearts.  They are all biblical, but each family is a little different and mine won't look the same as yours.  So you own it girl!  You do the very thing God has laid on your heart for your family and do it well.

I'm sorry for judging you working mom whose heart is always torn in 2 to balance both career and family.  I used to think you were wrong, choosing to work outside of the home, but I know better now.  God led me there too.  I think to teach me to the depth of my heart how much working moms need Him too.  How much judgement you put up with on a daily basis from other moms/womens opinions of your choice to work outside of the home.

I'm sorry for judging you stay at home mom whose life I assumed was filled with glorious mornings and sunshine filled smiling days with happy children all day long and perfect dinners every night.  As a part time mom I understand both working mom and stay at home mom worlds....neither one is a walk in the park!

I'm sorry for judging you mom whose 2 year old boy is having a temper tantrum by the fishtank in Walmart.  Old me would have said "My child will never do that" until I had a toddler.  Now I know better.

I'm sorry for judging you mom whose teenagers choose to be potheads, get pregnant and not care about school.  Old me would have said "I will raise my child up right and he or she won't ever do that"  Really?  All we can do as parents is try.  We can pray and we can mold as much as we want to, but ultimately they will make decisions we don't agree with regardless of how much we raise them up in God's will and their choices don't have anything to do with a poor reflection of our own character.

I'm sorry for judging you, women with raggedy clothes, straggly hair, and dirt smudged on your cheek.  How dare I not show you compassion for I don't know your story, and you don't know mine.  And for as much as my heart has been trampled to death by the brutal wound of judgement and assumption...how dare I show you that same discourtesy.

Matthew 25: 33-40 says about our Final Judgement Day:

"And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on his left.  Then the King will say to those on his right 'Come you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick  and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'  Then the righteous will answer him saying Lord when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and cloth you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?  And the King will answer them 'Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

Has your heart been wounded by judgement from other Christians?  Non Christians?  Dear friends their judgement is wrong.  Sin.  Not their job.  It's God's.  I love this song by David Crowder about how much God loves us regardless of who we are, no matter how sinful our lives have been.

May we today, regardless of how young or old we are, each choose to set aside judgement and stand beside one another in encouragement as the body of Christ to live this life together, never better than the other, but holding one another up in the journey.  

Love and Blessings from My Heart to Yours,